TikTok user Natalie probably didn’t expect to get over 10 million hits on a video of her trying on wedding guest dresses for a “black tie” theme.
But, perhaps unhappily considering how negative some of the comments are, that’s exactly what’s happened.
“We placed an order, and let’s try them on,” she began before donning a sequin-bedazzled gown, a shiny leopard-print number, a golden Grecian look, among others.
“Do… people not Google… black tie?” a top comment reads. Another simply says: “Return everything.”
Though I can see where a couple of the dresses might’ve missed the mark, I have to confess: I’m not sure I wouldn’t have made some of the “mistakes” app users have roundly slammed the unsuspecting poster for.
So, I turned to experts to work out what “black tie” really means.
It’s not just you – ‘black tie’ really is confusing, especially for women
Reto Peter, tailoring expert and co-founder of Edit Suits Co., told HuffPost UK that the TikToker isn’t alone.
“Black tie is one of those dress codes that sounds definitive but leaves plenty of room for misinterpretation, especially when it comes to womenswear,” he shared.
“Modern interpretation has evolved beyond strict rules to something more nuanced.”
Etiquette expert and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, Genevieve Dreizen, agrees, calling black tie “the most misunderstood of all dress codes”.
The term, she explained, was invented in the 19th century as a less formal version of “white tie” events. But black tie womenswear in particular has always been more “flexible” and, therefore, stressful.
“The reason people get confused is because fashion is way more fluid now, and not everyone grew up in spaces where formal events – or the unspoken rules of them – were common,” she added.
What should I wear to a ‘black tie’ wedding or event?
Anna Rodenbeck, director at wedding planning company WCO Events, said for women, black tie “typically means a floor-length gown, though a very elegant cocktail dress or a dressy pantsuit can also be appropriate – as long as it feels elevated and formal”.
Err on the side of overdressed if you’re not sure, she advised.
“When in doubt, opt for elevated, not costume,” Dreizen said.
Black tie “traditionally means a floor-length gown” for women, “but a sophisticated cocktail dress in a rich fabric or tailored jumpsuit can absolutely work, too as long as it’s elevated and styled accordingly”.
“Think structured, intentional, and evening-appropriate. Sparkle? Yes. Animal print club dress? Probably not. The goal is to complement the formality of a tuxedo, not compete with it or reinterpret it entirely,” she continued.
“And don’t forget, respect for the host’s vision is part of good etiquette, too.”
In other words, if you’re really unsure, just ask.
